Photosynthesis

Why does growing up have to be so hard? Hard on the kids, hard on the parents. I have to be completely honest; going through the teenage years makes me wonder if I'd known what my kids were going to have to go through, would I have subjected them to it? Granted, I realize that my beautiful kids have not had the ideal situation in growing up. Generational curses plagued us and sometimes still do, but still... It is sooo freakin' hard!!!
My oldest and I feel like a million miles apart. It is killing me but I don't know how to fix it. I am praying that the Lord will work it out. I am actually praising Him for working it out. When there is no more us, He kicks in, and the sooner the better. I face disrespect, disillusion, frustration, anger, sadness, loss, hopelessness, and just downright depression in the face of the mountain of teenager that I feel I will have to climb to do this. "My yoke is easy and My burden is light." I know in my head that if I gave it to Him more often, I would know that satisfaction and peace comes from knowing who is in control. I feel exhausted by this fight and sometimes can't even get out of bed. All 4 of my other kiddos are incredible, but when this one is separated, I have to go and leave the 99 and bring back that 1.
Lord Jesus, You are the most powerful. Nothing in the realm of good or evil compares to you. I am so thankful that You are in control because there is no energy left in me to fight this battle. My daughter is lost in the sea of indecision and indifference and I yearn for her to find You in the midst of her uncertainty of future. She thinks she is the only one who has ever tried to buck up against authority, who doesn't know what they want to do when they grow up, and can't see where they fit in. When I try to encourage or teach her, she totally shuts down and it is heartbreaking. Give me just a glimpse Lord, please. Give me some kind of word that it will work out. I know that rarely do we come to you without brokenness and serve you out of love. Lord protect her and keep her safe for You and You alone. I rebuke any plans the enemy has for her failure or demise. I trust You Father. I praise you, even in the storm. You are a mighty God.
In Jesus's precious name, Amen.