How long has it been since you reached out to the people around you and really told them how you feel? I was listening to a Christian radio call-in show the other day and the psychologist was recommending a girl tell her fiance' how she really felt. The Dr. told the caller that what most relationships are missing is truth. People can handle the truth so much better than we expect. Truth gives people a real reflection of how they are seen by others. In love; much, much love, we are called to be honest with one another. Hmmm... That is a difficult one.
My daughter and I were engaged in a strongly emotional discussion last evening (ie: argument) about her new driving practices. It was heartbreaking to me; her attitude of entitlement and her brashness in response to my suggestive correction of her driving. Teachable attitude, I told her, was all I was asking for. Instead, she would rather not drive, she shot back. OOOOOHHHHH I could have exploded. I just kept my mouth shut tightly until she passed a police officer traveling at 10 mph over the limit! I was incensed. I had lots of honest things I could have said right at that moment. Luckily, I waited until she was out of the car and out of earshot before I started yelling. My dear and wonderful husband now has the blessing of responsibility to develop her driving skills. The hardest thing for me is not that she was making a mistake, but that she allowed her emotion to drive the car. She let her emotion drive... I will get back to that in a minute, I feel a lesson brewing there...
I began letting her drive back in March during Spring break. She did famously. I was incredibly proud of her as she took turns carefully, made complete stops, and asked for advice and guidance and in return taking it graciously. Where did that driver go? She has been swallowed up by the "I am 16 and know all" monster. How sad. How do I communicate in a positive loving way that I have all the faith in the world in her, but she has to be willing to learn? I am praying about that and would appreciate all of the fortification of that prayer that you can help me with.
Back to emotions driving the car. Is emotion driving my car? My car of life? Your car of life? I think we all need to take a step back and realize that our commitments are not based on feelings.
I love my husband. I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been with anyone in my life. I am blessed every day by him, yet, I sometimes need a second to count to 10 in order to prevent my temper from rearing its ugly head. We don't always agree on all decisions , see eye to eye on everything, raise our children the same, and the list goes on and on. On those difficult days, sometimes weeks, my covenant kicks in, Praise the Lord, almost immediately. The long life I have walked through taps me on the shoulder, reminding me that this is not show friends, this is show business, and my husband is the other half of me. My love is my promise, not my feeling. Luckily, it is the same structure for my kids. The love for them is filled with emotion and feeling, but my commitment to them is not based on how obedient they are, how warm and cuddly they are, how respectful, polite, neat and tidy, organized, blah blah blah they are. It is the promise that I made when they were born, that I would love them, work to give them the best I had to prepare them for God's call on their life, and usher them into adulthood ready to succeed, that is my love. It runs deeply and miraculous. Miraculous is the addition of 2 incredibly children into my heart's fold that may not have been birthed by me, but are certainly underneath the shadow of my love for them. They are a part of me, and the Lord designed that incredible adoption. What a blessing they are to me, even when they join the other ranks in propelling me toward mind and hairloss (pulling it out).
I am blessed beyond belief by the relationships that the Lord has put in my life. He knew so well how much I would need a tribe around me to be His hands and feet in my life at any given moment. 5 out of the 6 may be revolting, but there is always that one that flashes a smile, gives me a thumbs up, or wants to climb into my lap and snuggle. That is God whispering to me, "I am still in control, I still love you, and I am still at work in this." That is all I need to know.
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